Man! Indians are some serious stare-ers! Not sure about that spelling, but lay off, you bastards. It's uncanny though, their eyes are just drawn to me. I realize that I am ridiculously beautiful, with a dazzling smile, healthy glowing skin and an extraordinary aura of friendliness, but is that what brings the stares? No, its probably that I'm just a weird, bearded, dirty foreigner wandering around with a giant backpack and shorts on. Shorts! E gad, how uncouth. But seriously, so far it seems staring and hanging around with other dudes is the primary occupation of many of these guys. There isn't shit going on, but there can be just packs of males lounging in the shade, snickering and staring at strange white tourists. Most are friendly, only want to know what country one hails from. Some exchange jokes in their native language, obviously at the expense of the non-comprehending foreigner. One accepts these things with a smile, and a casual knock at the male Indian predilection for holding each others hands. Always with a smile.
Met an interesting character at Golgumbaz, this really big mausoleum built in the 17th century for a Muslim ruler from Bijapur, in northern Karnataka. (Incidentally, the dome on top of this building is the second largest freestanding dome in the world after St. Peter's Basilica) Manjunath is a journalist, environmentalist and photographer who works for Karnataka state in classifying and preparing historical sites to be viewed by the public. He has done a lot of traveling across southern India and was able to recommend a variety of different places that I should travel, highlighting the best parts with some well-shot photographs he had on his computer. We had dinner together two nights and really got along pretty well, had similar literary interests and shared some of our favorite authors with each other for future reading. Manju was also able to get me in for free to some of the other sites around Bijapur, which is always a bonus. Prices are always higher for foreigners, but the scale is ridiculous. It costs 5 Rs for Indians to get in and 100 Rs for foreigners. Granted, 100 Rs is only like $2, but its the damn principle!
Before Bijapur I was in Hampi, a really fantastic place in central Karnataka. Amazing ruins scattered all over these crazy looking boulder mountains, so much territory to explore, and really some of the most beautiful country I've ever seen. Unfortunately, the wave of good health I'd been riding to this point crashed down around me in Hampi. Last sunday I got sick and made many, many, many trips to the bathroom over the next few days. The squat toilet was my dear, dear friend. Haven't been eating much since then, and am starting to look positively gaunt (for me); don't worry I'm not the Messiah...yet. Feeling way better in the last couple days, hopefully will graduate to eating meals again today, been strictly on a banana, coconut and water regimen. Alright, I'm bored, later.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Study vs Experience
Palolem in south Goa has been absolutely gorgeous. Bright sun, bringing a delightful tan to my previously pasty body, the cool Arabian Sea swirling around your feet, dodging the advances of beach vendors who just want to ask you something. So much more relaxed than Mumbai was, way less honking and just a generally slower pace to life. The beach hut I'm staying in is fantastic, only a couple hundred yards from the water with real live electricity! (sometimes) The food continues to be excellent, I've been eating seafood in almost all my curries, except at the times I can't resist having biryani. Goan seafood is often very spicy, but a butter roti takes the sting off the tongue as surely as a glass of fresh squeezed pineapple juice does. Ah, the pleasures of a tropical country!
Still trouble meeting Westerners, but I've been hanging out and talking to a lot of the Indians I meet on the beach and that work in the complex of huts I'm staying at. Its a fascinating experience to go from book learning to meeting and knowing the way these people live their lives. Talking to a 16 year old beach vendor of jewelry, or the roving pineapple/coconut salesman, I'm really getting a sense of India. The 16 year old, Dimple, has been coming to Goa to sell jewelry for 10 years. Since she was 6! From Rajasthan in the north, shes here, sans family, for about 8 months out of the year, returning home only to make more jewelry and spend a few months with her family in their village. She is uneducated, other than the things that her younger brothers have taught her, but is only desirous of being able to help her family in any way she can. Even more interesting, she is waiting for her parents to arrange her marriage for her, a common practice in India. I pressed her about wanting to have a love marriage and she replied that she trusted the decision her parents would make, and wanted only to cultivate the skills that would help her to succeed with her husband and her husbands family. Fuck! was all I could think. I knew about these things before I came here, but knowing is one thing, and actively experiencing it, an entirely different one.
I am planning on leaving tomorrow (I've been trying to leave for the past two days, but its just been too gorgeous) for Panaji, the capital city of Goa to catch a bus to Hampi in Karnataka. Hampi is supposed to be really cool, the ruins of a medieval imperial capital, razed in the 16th century by a group of Deccan sultans. Can't wait!
Still trouble meeting Westerners, but I've been hanging out and talking to a lot of the Indians I meet on the beach and that work in the complex of huts I'm staying at. Its a fascinating experience to go from book learning to meeting and knowing the way these people live their lives. Talking to a 16 year old beach vendor of jewelry, or the roving pineapple/coconut salesman, I'm really getting a sense of India. The 16 year old, Dimple, has been coming to Goa to sell jewelry for 10 years. Since she was 6! From Rajasthan in the north, shes here, sans family, for about 8 months out of the year, returning home only to make more jewelry and spend a few months with her family in their village. She is uneducated, other than the things that her younger brothers have taught her, but is only desirous of being able to help her family in any way she can. Even more interesting, she is waiting for her parents to arrange her marriage for her, a common practice in India. I pressed her about wanting to have a love marriage and she replied that she trusted the decision her parents would make, and wanted only to cultivate the skills that would help her to succeed with her husband and her husbands family. Fuck! was all I could think. I knew about these things before I came here, but knowing is one thing, and actively experiencing it, an entirely different one.
I am planning on leaving tomorrow (I've been trying to leave for the past two days, but its just been too gorgeous) for Panaji, the capital city of Goa to catch a bus to Hampi in Karnataka. Hampi is supposed to be really cool, the ruins of a medieval imperial capital, razed in the 16th century by a group of Deccan sultans. Can't wait!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
J. Krishnamurti Ojai talks, June 1934
Questioner: What is the difference between self-discipline and suppression?
Krishnamurti: I don't think there is much difference between the two because both deny intelligence. Suppression is the gross form of the subtler self-discipline, which is also repression; that is, both suppression as well as self-discipline are mere adjustments to environment. One is the gross form of adjustment, which is suppression, and the other, self-discipline, is the subtle form. Both are based on fear: suppression, on an obvious fear; the other, self-discipline, on fear born of loss, or on fear which expresses itself through gain.
Self-discipline - what you call self-discipline - is merely an adjustment to an environment which we have not completely understood; therefore, in that adjustment there must be the denial of intelligence. Why has one ever to discipline one's self? Why does one discipline, force one's self to mold after a particular pattern? Why do so many people belong to the various schools of disciplines, supposed to lead to spirituality, to greater understanding, greater unfoldment of thought? You will see that the more you discipline the mind, train the mind, the greater its limitations. Please, one has to think this over carefully and with delicate perception and not get confused by introducing other issues. Here I am using the world self-discipline as in the question, that is, disciplining one's self after a certain pattern, preconceived or preestablished and, therefore, with the desire to attain, to gain, whereas to me the very process of discipline, this continual twisting of mind to a particular preestablished pattern, must eventually cripple the mind. The mind, which is really intelligent, is free of self-discipline, for intelligence is born out of the questioning of environment and the discovery of the true significance of environment. In that discover is true adjustment, not the adjustment to a particular pattern or condition, but the adjustment through understanding, which is, therefore, free of the particular condition.
Take a primitive man; what does he do? In him there is no discipline, no control, no suppression. He does what he desires to do, this primitive. The intelligent man also does what he desires, but with intelligence. Intelligence is not born out of self-discipline or suppression. In the one instance it is wholly the pursuit of desire, the primitive man pursuing the object he desires. In the other instance, the intelligent man sees the significance of desire and sees the conflict; the primitive man does not, he pursues anything he desires and creates suffering and pain. So to me self-discipline and suppression are both alike - they both deny intelligence.
Please experiment with what I have said about discipline, self-discipline. Don't reject it, don't say you must have self-discipline, because there will be chaos in the world - as if there were not already chaos; and again, don't merely accept what I say, agreeing that it is true. I am telling you something which which I have experimented and which I have found to be true. Psychologically I think it is true, because self-discipline implies a mind that is tethered to a particular thought or belief or ideal, a mind that is held by a condition; and as an animal that is tethered to a post can only wander within the distance of its rope, so does the mind which is tethered to a belief, which is perverted through self-discipline, wander only within the limitation of that condition. Therefore, such a mind is not mind at all, it is incapable of thought. It may be capable of adjustment between the limitations of the post and the farthest point of its reach; but such a mind, such a heart cannot really think and feel. The mind and the heart are disciplined, crippled, perverted, through denying thought, denying affection. So you must observe, become aware how your own thought, how your own feelings are functioning, without wanting to guide them in any particular direction. First of all, before you guide them, find out how they are functioning. Before you try to change and alter thought and feeling, find out the manner of their working, and you will see that they are continually adjusting themselves within the limitations established by that point fixed by desire and the fulfillment of that desire. In awareness there is no discipline.
Let me take an example. Suppose that you are class-minded, class-conscious, snobbish. You don't know that you are snobbish, but you want to find out if you are; how will you find out? By becoming conscious of your thoughts and emotions. Then what happens? Suppose that you discover that you are snobbish, then that very discovery creates a disturbance, a conflict, and that very conflict dissolves snobbishness, whereas if you merely discipline the mind not to be snobbish, you are developing a different characteristic which is the opposite of being a snob, and being deliberate, therefore false, is equally pernicious.
So, because we have established various patterns, various goals, aids, which we are continually - consciously or unconsciously - pursuing, we discipline our minds and hearts toward them and, therefore, there must be control, perversion, whereas if you begin to inquire into the conditions that create conflict, and thereby awaken intelligence, then that intelligence itself is so supreme that it is continually in movement and, therefore, there is never a static point which can create conflict.
Krishnamurti: I don't think there is much difference between the two because both deny intelligence. Suppression is the gross form of the subtler self-discipline, which is also repression; that is, both suppression as well as self-discipline are mere adjustments to environment. One is the gross form of adjustment, which is suppression, and the other, self-discipline, is the subtle form. Both are based on fear: suppression, on an obvious fear; the other, self-discipline, on fear born of loss, or on fear which expresses itself through gain.
Self-discipline - what you call self-discipline - is merely an adjustment to an environment which we have not completely understood; therefore, in that adjustment there must be the denial of intelligence. Why has one ever to discipline one's self? Why does one discipline, force one's self to mold after a particular pattern? Why do so many people belong to the various schools of disciplines, supposed to lead to spirituality, to greater understanding, greater unfoldment of thought? You will see that the more you discipline the mind, train the mind, the greater its limitations. Please, one has to think this over carefully and with delicate perception and not get confused by introducing other issues. Here I am using the world self-discipline as in the question, that is, disciplining one's self after a certain pattern, preconceived or preestablished and, therefore, with the desire to attain, to gain, whereas to me the very process of discipline, this continual twisting of mind to a particular preestablished pattern, must eventually cripple the mind. The mind, which is really intelligent, is free of self-discipline, for intelligence is born out of the questioning of environment and the discovery of the true significance of environment. In that discover is true adjustment, not the adjustment to a particular pattern or condition, but the adjustment through understanding, which is, therefore, free of the particular condition.
Take a primitive man; what does he do? In him there is no discipline, no control, no suppression. He does what he desires to do, this primitive. The intelligent man also does what he desires, but with intelligence. Intelligence is not born out of self-discipline or suppression. In the one instance it is wholly the pursuit of desire, the primitive man pursuing the object he desires. In the other instance, the intelligent man sees the significance of desire and sees the conflict; the primitive man does not, he pursues anything he desires and creates suffering and pain. So to me self-discipline and suppression are both alike - they both deny intelligence.
Please experiment with what I have said about discipline, self-discipline. Don't reject it, don't say you must have self-discipline, because there will be chaos in the world - as if there were not already chaos; and again, don't merely accept what I say, agreeing that it is true. I am telling you something which which I have experimented and which I have found to be true. Psychologically I think it is true, because self-discipline implies a mind that is tethered to a particular thought or belief or ideal, a mind that is held by a condition; and as an animal that is tethered to a post can only wander within the distance of its rope, so does the mind which is tethered to a belief, which is perverted through self-discipline, wander only within the limitation of that condition. Therefore, such a mind is not mind at all, it is incapable of thought. It may be capable of adjustment between the limitations of the post and the farthest point of its reach; but such a mind, such a heart cannot really think and feel. The mind and the heart are disciplined, crippled, perverted, through denying thought, denying affection. So you must observe, become aware how your own thought, how your own feelings are functioning, without wanting to guide them in any particular direction. First of all, before you guide them, find out how they are functioning. Before you try to change and alter thought and feeling, find out the manner of their working, and you will see that they are continually adjusting themselves within the limitations established by that point fixed by desire and the fulfillment of that desire. In awareness there is no discipline.
Let me take an example. Suppose that you are class-minded, class-conscious, snobbish. You don't know that you are snobbish, but you want to find out if you are; how will you find out? By becoming conscious of your thoughts and emotions. Then what happens? Suppose that you discover that you are snobbish, then that very discovery creates a disturbance, a conflict, and that very conflict dissolves snobbishness, whereas if you merely discipline the mind not to be snobbish, you are developing a different characteristic which is the opposite of being a snob, and being deliberate, therefore false, is equally pernicious.
So, because we have established various patterns, various goals, aids, which we are continually - consciously or unconsciously - pursuing, we discipline our minds and hearts toward them and, therefore, there must be control, perversion, whereas if you begin to inquire into the conditions that create conflict, and thereby awaken intelligence, then that intelligence itself is so supreme that it is continually in movement and, therefore, there is never a static point which can create conflict.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Mumbai!
So much to say about this city! Teeming masses, jam-packed rush hour trains(people hold on to the edges, hanging out the door) so many conflicting, mingling smells, some delicious, some just shit. The food has been wonderful, so cheap, so tasty, with the benefit of many unique and wonderful tastes I've never had before. So much to say, but I'll spare you all the details and just note a few highlights.
I had the fortuitous luck to meet a few natives who weren't desperate to sell me weed/hash/tour direction, meeting a Punjabi Sikh named Gurjot in a coffeeshop where all the other tables were occupied. We hit it off, agreeing that we both wanted to live our lives simply, seeking that which gave us the most pleasure. We wandered around together for an afternoon and then parted before vowing to meet again in northern India, where Gurjot will show me around his native state and generally wine and dine me.
Spent another day as an extra for a tourist movie and got to meet a few more Western tourists. Most foreigners seem to travel in groups or as a couple, so I've had some trouble getting to know many of them, but I met a cool Canadian, Australian and Brit during the day of shooting.
I will be leaving Mumbai this Thursday for Goa, a state some 600 km south of Mumbai. Goa has beautiful beaches and a lot of tourists, but I'll be heading to the somewhat quieter south Goan beaches. Sun, seafood and yoga in my future!
I had the fortuitous luck to meet a few natives who weren't desperate to sell me weed/hash/tour direction, meeting a Punjabi Sikh named Gurjot in a coffeeshop where all the other tables were occupied. We hit it off, agreeing that we both wanted to live our lives simply, seeking that which gave us the most pleasure. We wandered around together for an afternoon and then parted before vowing to meet again in northern India, where Gurjot will show me around his native state and generally wine and dine me.
Spent another day as an extra for a tourist movie and got to meet a few more Western tourists. Most foreigners seem to travel in groups or as a couple, so I've had some trouble getting to know many of them, but I met a cool Canadian, Australian and Brit during the day of shooting.
I will be leaving Mumbai this Thursday for Goa, a state some 600 km south of Mumbai. Goa has beautiful beaches and a lot of tourists, but I'll be heading to the somewhat quieter south Goan beaches. Sun, seafood and yoga in my future!
The old Raja
Nobody needs to go anywhere else. We are all, if we only knew it, already there.
If I only knew who in fact I am, I should cease to behave as what I think I am; and if I stopped behaving as what I think I am, I should know who I am.
What in fact I am, if only the Manichee I think I am would allow me to know it, is the reconciliation of yes and no lived out in total acceptance and the blessed experience of Not-Two.
In religion all words are dirty words. Anybody who gets eloquent about Buddha, or God, or Christ, ought to have his mouth washed out with carbolic soap.
Because his aspiration to perpetuate only the "yes" in every pair of opposites can never, in the nature of things, be realized, the insulated Manichee I think I am condemns himself to endlessly repeated frustration, endlessly repeated conflicts with other aspiring and frustrated Manichees.
Conflicts and frustrations-the theme of all history and almost all biography. "I show you sorrow," said the Buddha realistically. But he also showed the ending of sorrow- self-knowledge, total acceptance, the blessed experience of Not-Two.
If I only knew who in fact I am, I should cease to behave as what I think I am; and if I stopped behaving as what I think I am, I should know who I am.
What in fact I am, if only the Manichee I think I am would allow me to know it, is the reconciliation of yes and no lived out in total acceptance and the blessed experience of Not-Two.
In religion all words are dirty words. Anybody who gets eloquent about Buddha, or God, or Christ, ought to have his mouth washed out with carbolic soap.
Because his aspiration to perpetuate only the "yes" in every pair of opposites can never, in the nature of things, be realized, the insulated Manichee I think I am condemns himself to endlessly repeated frustration, endlessly repeated conflicts with other aspiring and frustrated Manichees.
Conflicts and frustrations-the theme of all history and almost all biography. "I show you sorrow," said the Buddha realistically. But he also showed the ending of sorrow- self-knowledge, total acceptance, the blessed experience of Not-Two.
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